Femme Family NYC

2 Responses to “Femme Visibility and Femmephobia”

1. Bevin says:

   January 15, 2010 at 5:20 pm

   Ack who wrote this post? We need to figure out the author thing.

   And I can’t decide if this is femmephobia or if it is more of a fatphobic/misogyny/privileging weight on men thing, but have you ever noticed that of our “fat” or “fatish” gay celebrities, they are generally more butch of center? Like Rosie O’Donnell, Sabrina Matthews, for a minute Julie Goldman was a little chunky. Other than Beth Ditto, who are the queer fat femmes out there in media and on tv?

   Last night at the bar this girl asked me three times if I was gay. I had told her twice already in our casual conversation and by the third time I just said “Just because I’m Femme doesn’t make me not gay! Look, I am the co-Head Madam of the NYC Chapter of the Femme Mafia! Do I need to bring in an army of other girls to prove to you that I am a homo? Do I need a title for you to believe me when I tell you I am gay?”

   The dramatics were totally good natured, but it was frustrating. I then proceeded to tell her, Dr. Phil style, what she needs to do to change her life and stop forcing herself into one night stands with straight girls (a complaint of hers).
2. amanda says:

   January 19, 2010 at 5:29 am

   I see a lot of femme phobia on online dating sites, where “uber” “ultra” “high” etc femininity is explicitly called out and told not to apply. Often this is coupled with phrases about being high maintenance or seeking too much adoration. There’s a lot packaged in there, but in these cases where it is often a non-feminine lesbian derogating femmes, I suspect it is out of hatred/fear/confusion of femininity and how those things impact the self.

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